Friday, March 7, 2008

Open Response Analysis 3

ead the following essay question answer and discuss what strengths and weaknesses it has. Remember, constructive feedback is a MUST!

Student C

The famous scientist that pushed people to discriminate against certain races was a boy. This scientists name is Benjamine Banaker. He wrote a whole book showing that Africans are smart. Thomas Jeffson thought that he was a special kind of AFrican and he beleived that he was the only African like that.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

This student did a good job. His grammar is ok, he just had one problem with the spelling in Africa, but overall this student was did good.

Anonymous said...

In this essay the student is talking about a whole different subject. Even Before that happen there was still race. It wasn't exactly caused by Thomas Jefferson. Even though Benjamine Banaker did write the books of African American it doesn't tell what race is. The student should have gave more information about what is race not, who tryed to go against it. The spelling/grammar needs a little bit of work.

Unknown said...

The information they had was not true, also their grammar and spelling was not good. Next time this person should check information and evidence but to use it wisely and write it good. I think this person needs to check his/her work before turning it in to make sure it was well written.

Anonymous said...

This student did good job all the student has to to is check on the spelling and the essay can be better.

Anonymous said...

This student did good job all the student has to to is check on the spelling and the essay can be better.

Anonymous said...

STUDENT C DID A GOOD JOB EVEN THOUGH HIS GRAMMAR WAS OFF A BIT i STILL UNDERSTOOD WHAT HE WAS SAYING AND i COULD STILL READ WITH UNDERSTANDING.

Anonymous said...

The first sentence needs to be fixed. He/she could of put his name where he/she put boy. In the forth sentence he spelled Africans right but he mad the f a capital letter. He/she could of explain some more.

Anonymous said...

This student here did a good job, and telling the readers that there was a man that wasn't discriminating African American. I think this did good though telling us about something we might have not known. Like me.

Anonymous said...

That was great the this scientist wrote this book but i want to know is he black or white i want to know his ethnicity because if this scientist was black most of the people that was white wouldn't believe him because they were already brainwashed by Samuel Morton saying that blacks were different from whites. So what is the ethnicity for this scientist.

Anonymous said...

I think that this student did a good job overall. He has about one spelling error so i think he should have checked his spelling. He had told me what the sentence is by refrasing it but over all it was good.

Anonymous said...

How was it that benjamine banaker was the famous scientist to push people to discriminate, when he is the one trying to prove that african are smart. This paragraph is very confusing.

Anonymous said...

Also this student should check there spelling.

Anonymous said...

Student C,
The structure of your paragraph's is not as "on point" as it can be. You didn't really restate the question in your answer, but I got a pretty clear understanding of the question. Another thing is to really work out the evidence properly.......

Anonymous said...

Really i didn't think they had enough information on what he or she said. The person Changed the subject about two different things. Didn't explain enough about the people. I give it a 75% because it wasn't the best thing to read.